Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
