ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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