Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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