I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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