do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize