you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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