I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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