I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
