I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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