Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
