made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
