I must be too annoying 4 u.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize