3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Randomize
