It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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