I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
