I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
