dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
