Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I still have a little drunk in my system
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Randomize
