I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
