We won't sleep together?
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
