I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize