I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
