you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
