so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
