Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize
