why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
