somebody snuck up and got me drunk
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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