i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I smell like Dick and happiness
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
