1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I am spending my child support on dildos
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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