we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
mondays should just be called national damage control day
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
