Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
