I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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