I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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