Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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