I feel like I'm in dance class right now
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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