i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
