Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
