When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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