addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
