ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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