i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
