Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
handjob tips. give me some.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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