I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
