I wannas sexs uuuuu
I am puke
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
