i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
