..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
