you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
whose ass print is on the piano?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
