she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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