It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
