How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
