I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
