dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
