you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize