Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
So apparently I’m into choking now
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