Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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