but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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