Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Randomize
