I skipped work to stalk him.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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