i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
honey bunches of taint.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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