sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
no, he came in my armpit
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
