he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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