After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
