so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
