At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
