I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
